That room I lived;
In bed I dreamed;
On shelves books so
Very surely plenty;
Through days spent
Completely thinking;
One lizard and one
Hamster did perish
In that tiny abode
So minuscule shutting;
Missed they were in
Many boring years!
That small room held
Massive and epically
Staged crusades and
Conflicts so hidden
And secret from world!
Endless racing cars
Did scurry; three dozen
Seemed doomed to faller
And only two finished
In glorious victory; the
Others were eaten by
Dinosaurs and monsters
Most assuredly ferocious;
There titanic snakes did
Joyfully crush untold
Numbers of victims;
Those plastic reptiles
Made plotted slithers
And clashed with kings
Of brown carpet kingdoms!
Miniature soldiers of
Green and gray nations,
Plentifully made combat
On so very tiny mountains
And fantastically issued
Orders to destroy enemy;
In fake bunkers stayed;
From time to time sent
Invisible bullets to air;
Trying, hoping to bring
Down seemingly invincible
Silently flying jets so
Stealthy and sometimes very
Bulky; destructive were
Those few molded planes;
In bulb lit sky flew and
Maneuvered from fingers
So very small indeed; bugs
Were seemingly housed in
Clothes and toys mostly
Scattered upon dirty floor;
I made short campaigns of
Thorough and extremely
Hectic assassinations; the
Tiny devils weren't much
Opposition even to a weak
Boy such as me; mainly hand
Used in the eradication!
Square blocks made towers
And curved beams made flight;
Every spire so randomly
Placed on created blue sea;
Cities I could hold within
My eager little palms so
Very crazily tired always!
Education was very classic
And text seemed infinite;
Every lesson was studied
On bed and floor the same!
Those absolute freedoms I was
Allowed to experience in
That place of childhood now
Completely lost from me;
In that place of youthful
Learning and understanding
So very chiseled in mind!
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How wonderfully described, every aspect of life covered..very interesting
ReplyDeleteYour writing is so thought-provoking!
ReplyDeleteVery meaninful poem!
Betty
What I like most about this poem (and, indeed, your others) is the economy of the lines. With one exception there are no unnecessary words. The one exception is perhaps the over-use of the word "and", but that is almost splitting hairs. I shall certainly be interested to see where you go from here.
ReplyDeleteThanks so very much Shaheen!
ReplyDeleteBetty I can't show enough appreciation! I truly am grateful for your kindness!
ReplyDeleteMr. King,
ReplyDeleteI am very thankful for the compliment and the advice. I truly appreciate it and I do use way too many ands I sometimes struggle with that area in writing; thanks for letting me know what you think I'll truly ponder on it for a while and thanks for being so optimistic!
Fun to read and made me smile :>) I agree with Dave King. Your poems remind me of some types of Oriental drawings; very simple, but with each line drawn precisely and with artistic care.
ReplyDeleteLittle brother, why i wonder do you call yourself a wannabe poet ?
ReplyDeleteWhen in fact you already are one.
Man, these words are excellent, keep it up and keep them coming.
That´s all i can tell you.
And thank´s for joining my blog.
Than you so much for visiting and leave your comment.
ReplyDeleteI will visite you again, though my scanty domainof the English does not allow me to estimate your poems.
Regards,
HI...
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with 'bonequinhoda bic' You are indeed already a poet..
This latest poem.. on childhood.. although male oriented , is something we can all relate to.. our childhood room.. where dreams were made and worlds created .. and success or failure was all at our own bidding.. the world was whatever we wanted it to be.. I wonder why we deem that not possible as adults.. You've got me thinking about this now....
Thanks for popping over my way.. and following.. I have done the same.. ciao Julie
bonequinhoda bic and Julie@beingRuby I truly appreciate you kindness I'm truly humbled by it. I say wannabe poet because I never want to think of my work as good even if every person in the world did because then I might become a little too conceited. I've struggled with it in the past; that is becoming full of myself.
ReplyDeleteJulie@beingRuby your words are so very eye opening thanks for sharing!
I think that you ARE a poet, not a 'wanna-be'. You have a unique style of writing, I can appreciate it. Very nice...=^.^=
ReplyDeleteI'm smitten.
ReplyDeletelovely poems,
ReplyDeletethank-you for visiting my little world and leading me into yours:)
happy writing,
x ashley
Thanks for your comment on my site. I am so very glad you made it otherwise I would not have read your beautiful poetry! I truly love this one!
ReplyDelete